I want to have my camera cable! Dardar :(
Lesson No. 1: You are your one and only teacher in life.
I just finished the book titled 'Tuesdays with Morrie', as recommended by my cursed boyfriend. Why cursed? Simply because he is so heartless to make me cry a liter of tears to the extent that when my mother opened my room, she asked me what happened. Oh my goodness. This book. Just the thought of Morrie dying is enough for tears to swell up in me. A leopard can't change its spots. Definitely. Acting aloof and devoid of emotions, that's the girl I am. Yet, I am still such an emotional girl. Fits the image of the me in your mind right, stupid xiong? Si imp, you win this time round.
Morrie, a great teacher to Mitch. Yes, I do agree that Morrie is wonderful. However, I strongly believe that Mitch is his own teacher in life. He teaches himself to open up his mind to all the teachings Morrie passed on to him, no?
When a teacher is going on and on about a subject you hate, take IT for example, in my case. Most of us simply switch off and let your mind visualise interesting images dancing in front of you. And so I realise. Listen, not hear. When you hear, you don't process the words that you have heard. When you listen, you process those words, understand it, and take action towards improving yourself.
I am a very lousy teacher. I taught myself many times to open up my mind, to accept things that others are trying to screw into that little stubborn brain of mine. Others could be the greatest philosophers, the best coaches/teachers in life. But unless you let your only teacher, the mind, guide you to the path of opening yourself up, you, will never learn.
Lesson No. 2 Success or Failure
This is a true story.
I was so in awe with this person Y. She seems so high up, a perfect career woman. She has 2 gifted children, one domestic helper, one enormous house, 2 cars.
One day, I told person X 'person Y, she just seems so wonderful, have everything that life offers'
Person X: 'Really? Me and Person A,B,C, finds that she is a failure in life'
Me: *Eyes ballooned. 'Kidding me? I think she is the most successful person I know of'
See the difference of Person X and I? We often prided ourselves on being really similar in character traits, crapping that it's because we are both Blood group O that's why we are so similar. LOL. Yea. Back to the point. How do you view success?
Do you find person Y successful? People around her, hates her. But of cos you could say. Aiya big deal? I bet they are just jealous of her possessing everything they crave for. But is that really the case?
On the route to moulding yourself to the image you see yourself to be, do you create negative energies around you?
No one is perfect, when humans arrive at the standard they set for themselves, they deem themselves as perfect. That's when they become a failure in life as they are what xiong says 'omg, turned-off'.
Mediocrity is still better, I figure.
Yes, I am mediocre. What makes me outstanding is the strong mother who works night shift to pay off my school fees, the strong father who works from 7am to 1030pm, literally, rain or shine, to put food on the table. The strong boyfriend, when I fuss and says 'I want to break up' so often, he says 'I will stay awake till you change your mind', and true to his words, he stay awake and was so miserable when he went to the army the next day.
Coming to think again, I am mediocre in results, I sucks at my childish mentality, but I am above average when it comes to being accepted and loved.
Thankful for life.
Xiong: 'Get this into your childish brain, there are people who cares for you. Stop hurting them'.
I will change. I want to change! My mentality sux.
Accept yourself,Sok Chin. Look, you are good enough. Else, why would you deserve so many wonderful people around you ?
I LOVE MYSELF.
<3 I REPEAT, I LOVE MYSELF FOR WHO I AM!
Thankful for everything I have
TEN MONTHS ANNIVERSARY, and still as tough a relationship, as ever:)
Ten months. For the past months, he has endured all my random temper outbursts, my emotional breakdown, my hyper-depressive state. He has experienced jealousy, heartache, and of cos, happiness. My favourite xiong, we went through so much together for the past 10 months, even the explosive quarrels that nearly tore us apart. Looking back now, we got through all of it! Are you glad? I am, definitely!
This guy doesn't give up, he sure doesn't. Hey stupid guy, I admire your tenacity! DA BEN DAN.
The path ahead will be a smoother one, for sure :)
Not so smooth for my family though, with Dad recently losing his job. My sister asked me today, why not I don't go to university. I replied in a strong tone, that no matter what happens, I will get my ass through university. My heart, however, doesn't feel as strong.
On the way to get my TODAY newspaper and MY PAPER, I thought through a lot. On average, considering my [pay - CPF] when I worked at quest laboratory, using a diploma certificate, I earn $600/month after giving $300 to Dad and $300 to Mom. I don't think it's fair to them, to bring up a child for 20 years to receive a meagre $300 each. I may as well slog through another 4 years so that when the time come, I could double the amount they get per month?
Money is kind of my motivation to study now. I need the degree cert, I need to repay them, even though I know they asked for nothing. Give me just 4 years, I will get through it and even if they stop seeing me through, I will take bank loan and dun worry parent, no hard feelings whatsoever! :D
We will survive, all of us. Humans thrive on feelings for support. Feelings make or break a person, yes I experienced both the former and the latter. I am gonna use the feelings, care and concern that others have for me to propel me forward and one day, I will repay these people in my life by taking care of them forever.
I will be strong, don't worry about me.
Daddy says he is glad I can think for myself, then he dun have to worry so much for me.
Deeply touched, and yes, I won't be anyone's burden.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPYY TEN MONTHS, XIONGXIONG!
The definition of happiness.
I just read this storybook written by an 18 year old Malaysian author, titled 'Lethal lesson and other stories'. I applaud her style of writing, as well as the level of maturity of this 18 year old girl. Her definition of happiness is not the attainment of great success in life. It is not the happiness gained by material gifts from others, not wealth, not fame, but the simple things in life.
In a world where everything is advancing at such a rapid pace, many of us tend to perceive happiness as an entity that is thousand of miles away. We are chasing material gains, we are chasing success, and viewing them as the items we collect on the route to happiness.
I quote a friend of mine. She once blogged 'I worked so hard, studied so hard, in exchange for a few beautiful letters on my report card'.
On hindsight, I realised many of us indeed fall into the same category as her. Myself included. I am someone who study my butt off, chasing for Ace-s on my report card. Work my ass off, hoping to see an increase in the numerical sum printed on my bankbook, the next time I update it.
As I look back on my life now, I question myself. Was I truly happy? Yes, I was happy attaining the silver medal award. I am satisfied with the amount in my bank book. However, this happiness isn't all that long-lasting is it? At the end of the day, there is nothing solid to make me joyous about.
Who am I ? Smart, no. Not compared to Harvard graduates or the oh-so-many intelligent people out there. Wealthy? Please. More like, less than average. Beautiful? This could probably apply to me next life, if I do more good deed this lifetime.
So what is going to make me happy, I ask myself. Just then, an image of me doing what I want popped up in my mind. I shall not share it here. I have always pictured myself that way, but circumstances of life makes me pin this hope on others, instead of on myself.
Two things. I just have to do 2 things, and I can assure that I will be the happiest girl (soon to be 20yearold lady) !
My definition of happiness?
- Be what you see yourself to be.
Humans, go for it. Discipline to do something, is indeed the separating line between mankind and the beasts.
One day, I will smile, the deepest, truest smile from my heart. And that will be the time when I will state proudly. The day has come, and I am who I set out to be.
Today is my last day of work at Quest Lab TMC! I swear this job is the best, ever! Initially, I thought Xiao Ying is very fierce and unapproachable as she always looks so serious at work. As time passes, she slowly turns into my best friend at workplace and, being placed side by side at work, we start to have 'tai-tai' daydreams daily, and we laugh over every silly little things!
Went to Chinatown to have frog leg/fish porridge today, together with darling Xiao ying, Ms Yeong, Sylvia, Aason, Natalie and Jian Ming! Ahhhhhh they are such the sweetest human beings in existence! The frog leg porridge is absolutely delicious. Coupled with best company/best teammates/best friends, I would say, perfect is the word to describe today's outing!
I love Eunice and Meiting and Sayee and Auntie too! <3
They are what I would call, Colleagues turned great friends!
Yesterday, went chomp chomp with Jiahao, Cat, Andre, Sheena and Hennes. Amin joined us later for udders ! Chomp chomp prawn noodles aint that nice lei, duno why so many people claim that it is super nice. Oh well. We played cluedo and monopoly deal at udders and then went nex shopping! The guys were such spoilspots. Always staying outside the shop while cat and I went shopping.
You know. I totally appreciate this group of friends too. They are like what you would call, not losing contact after graduation de friends!! :)
Mood picking up, life picking up ! :D
I want to list my quote of the day, ;)
'Sometimes, thinking for others may turn out to be a cruel act instead of a kind act. Overthinking, for sure, makes both parties suffer.'
My resolution from now onwards is to stop overthinking things. Then I will be a much happier person.
Ill.. Bad day, woke up with a bad headache. I guess Aason infected me afterall. Stay-home tuesday! :(
Look at the medal!!! :D My xiong made it for me de! Sukietan, u are right, he will give me something even without people prompting him to do so :D
Feel so blessed. At the other side of the medal is something sweeeeeet and awesome but I am not allowed to share with you guys:D hehehehe
8 months plus, going to 9 months, and doing our best to celebrate every month together. Feeling blissed despite all the downtimes. Best relationship, ever!
Lim Sok Chin :D
Pat on the shoulders, sok!
I officially graduated today! :D Elated, jubilant, these are the words that best describe my feelings currently. The only regret is that I could not take photos in my graduation gown with my dearest boyfriend as he is in field camp now. I hope things are not getting too tough for him. It's ok we will always have a chance to take graduation pictures again, in university! :D I can't wait to go NUS with you, guy! :D
Looking back to when I first known that in BLT, only 2 person can clinch the medalist title. At that time, I was so aghast and I even wept in front of suktan and michelle during our little 'swimming session'. I was so sure that it couldn't be me. Yet I couldn't just let go of my dream to emerge from the three years of polytechnic education, with a medalist and a diploma with merit. By miracle? NO! It's not a miracle! With extreme hardwork, I managed to clinch this medalist award! I feel so happy and I am laughing at the me last time. Deciding my fate so early on, and not believing in myself. This taught me a lesson! If you want something in life, do not sit there crying for it. Fight for it. Fight to the best of your ability. Even if in the end, you do not get what you want, you will still have something in return. Strength, that's what you get in return isn't it? With every failure, people become stronger, more motivated. I failed in many things through this polytechnic life.
Two years ago, I was the only one out of my BMS-1M05 class being singled out by my IT teacher to stay back after class to repeat my IT test. At that point of time, I was really totally embarrassed and upset to be the only one having to repeat the test. Since then, I have been apprehensive about any IT modules I have to take later on. Then came Bioinformatics. I saw the 'informatics' part of the module and was instantly wary. Fearful indeed. Yet I did my best for it and even though I did not particularly excel in it, I am still proud of myself for not letting the fear of failure push me towards another failure.
People out there, do be positive and optimistic. Each and everyone of you have something special in you. Ignite that spark of passion and intelligence in you and do not be hurt by any setbacks. Never put a label of 'failure' upon yourself, for you will never know what will happen if you just try for it! :)
Alright, that's all!!! I just feel awesome now. And yes, I mean, AWESOME! :D